Ed thought taking things slow would be more difficult, but there's a pleasure he did not expect in exploring within the limits. He knows it's because he gets to do it with Stede, both of them new to having the luxury of time and want. They're learning together.
Certainly there are hectic days, ones where they barely have time to eat or sleep, but there's always a moment for a quick kiss, the squeeze of a hand. (And the time he goosed Stede in the corridor as they passed each other. Ed swears he heard him squeak, the flush on his cheeks as bright as his smile. That was fucking great.)
But there are also periods where time stretches broad as the horizon, settling over the ship heavy and indolent as the Caribbean heat. Everybody takes a breather when it's like this, winding down until the worst of the fierce sun is past.
Ed loves these siestas, twined with Stede in the bed nook. Sometimes they nap, others they talk. His favorite is when they just touch each other, fingers and hands and mouths exploring, cataloging, learning. Through this he knows Stede turns to jelly if Ed pays attention to the spot behind his earlobe, how the juncture of his neck and shoulder is deliciously within reach when they're tucked against each other. In turn, Stede has discovered how sensitive Ed is to touch, where a stroke, lick, or bite can be best applied to make him moan or cry out. (Ed would never admit to the way he shivers when Stede’s breath ghosts over the curve of his ear, but Stede is a perceptive man in this regard.)
Right now they're kissing, mostly aimless. Of course Ed has kissed people before, but never the way he does with Stede: thorough, deliberate, savoring. It feels almost obscenely decadent, the slide of warm mouths together, limbs entangled, the soft-scratch of hair against skin.
Stede rests his forehead against Ed's, the exhale of his breath close. Ed moves his head back, exposing the line of his neck. Blackbeard never would have made himself vulnerable like this. Thus Blackbeard will never get the pleasure of Stede fucking Bonnet placing a reverent kiss at the beat of his pulse, grazing teeth to the side of his neck before sucking hard enough to leave a bruise, throbbing a pleasant reminder as it fades.
Ed thinks he got the better end of the deal.
Stede pulls away, smiling gentle but somehow still dazzling, like it's impossible to contain the enormity of feeling he has for Ed. It's so much, in a way he's only starting to wrap his head around. But he's happy to sit with it, to contemplate this thing with a patience he didn't know he was capable of.
He shifts, moving against Stede's thigh. It's a very nice thigh, strong but padded deliciously soft. He didn't mean to rub his dick against it—the bed is small and they're close together. The ache is sweet, a lazy bloom of heat in his belly he doesn't mind lingering.
Of course Stede notices, it's impossible for him not to. Ed expects him to smirk or make a smart remark, but he just looks down at Ed's drawers, already filling out.
"Would you like to show me, my dear? I want to see you."
Fuck. Stede has fiendishly inventive ideas that don't involve touching each other, but drive Ed mad regardless. The ache becomes a little sharper, more urgent.
"Yeah." He reaches through the opening in his drawers, pulling out his cock. There's something about not being fully undressed that makes it dirtier, and it's totally doing it for Ed. Stede too, judging by the way he inhales, a little deeper than before.
"Oh, Ed. You are always lovely, but right now you look especially delicious." He doesn't know if he'll ever get used to the utter adoration mingled with the desire. Blackbeard is used to being wanted, lusted over. (It made some things convenient when he was in a mood, he's not going to lie.) But this is so much better, watching Stede's gaze become intent, greedy.
He gives himself a stroke, relishing in the sensation. He's all the way hard now but it's still just a simmer, a feeling he can luxuriate in for a while. So he takes his time, moving up and down the length of his cock. Maybe he's a little showy (heh, showy) about it, but Stede said he wanted to see. And he's definitely looking, eyes raking over Ed's body like he can physically pierce him with his stare.
Ed jolts at it like he's been touched, dick twitching in his hand. The groan that escapes his throat is a little more desperate than he expected, and now there's the smirk.
“If you look at me like that, I’m gonna react.” He hopes he sounds chill about it, not like all vulnerable and stuff. (It’s a work in progress. He’s being so fucking brave about it, but sometimes it’s still extremely difficult.)
Stede huffs, amused. "I told you, darling. You're going to touch yourself, and I'm going to sit and watch." There's such easy confidence in his voice, a certainty Ed will do as he requests. It nearly bowls him over, the punch of need at the realization he absolutely would.
"Is that an order, then?" He pitches his voice low, sultry; and is gratified to see Stede's expression go darker, hungry.
"If you want it to be." Stede is always happy to indulge Ed in this, but it's something he makes clear he's doing, that the choice always rests with Ed. (It's sweet that he always checks, yet another thing that makes Ed feel cared for, cherished.)
"Yeah. I do."
Stede reaches for a bottle of oil, the one he uses in Ed's hair. It's lightly perfumed, just enough to linger on the pillows or Stede's clothes where he's laid his head.
Ed puts out his hand, and Stede tips the bottle gently. The oil warms against his skin, the fragrance growing stronger. (He's probably going to develop A Thing about the scent, and Ed wonders if that was Stede's intention all along. Fucking lunatic. Ed adores him.)
His slick hand glides easy over his cock, and he arches into the motion, looking at Stede through half-closed eyes. He's absolutely transfixed, watching Ed touch himself. And in turn, Stede looking at him winds Ed up even more. Like a fucking ouroboros of horniness.
"You're so beautiful like this, I still can't believe I get to see you, all laid out for me." Stede leans against the window, the afternoon sun gilding his hair. His expression is soft, reverent. Ed wonders if it will always feel like being cracked open, just a little, when Stede looks at him like that.
"Only for you." It's still new, this thing they're figuring out. Ed knows they'll stumble now and then, but it's okay because they'll pick each other up when it happens. He's never had anybody to catch him like this, and it makes him feel brave.
"Yes. Only for me." Stede's voice gets low, possessive, and Ed shivers at it. This is so much better than the captain voice, because he's the only one who gets to hear it.
"Fuck, Stede." He's pushing into the tight circle of his hand, not there yet but well on his way.
"That's it, my love," Stede's moved a little closer, his eyes dark with want. "You're doing so well."
Ed would be embarrassed by the noise that escapes his mouth if he had a spare thought, but Stede just takes in Ed's reaction, turning it over in his head.
"Would you like me to continue?" Stede's expression is concerned but also intrigued, like he never realized this is a thing. But now that he knows, he's happy to explore further. If Ed wants it.
Not trusting his voice, he nods.
“Thank you, my sweet. For letting me know you want this.” Stede's tone is gentle, affirming. It's not too much. “I'm always happy to tell you how lovely and wonderful you are.” You're not too much.
The sun filters through the drawn curtains, and he wants to bask in it, soak it all in. Let himself uncurl in the light and warmth, full of possibility.
He tries to pace himself, he really does. But there's only so much he can do when his body wants to go so much faster than his mind will let it. He thinks about Stede's hands on his dick, whether he'd be tentative and fumbling, or resolutely experimental. Maybe something he hasn't thought of but will blow his mind completely. (He's surprising like that, and Ed fucking loves him it.)
Stede watches him, occasionally murmuring compliments; soft little things about how beautiful Ed is, how well he's doing. “You are exquisite, darling, my finest thing.” He curls his fingers around the back of Ed's foot, thumb brushing against the ankle. It makes something ache in his chest, a ridiculous thing to feel while he’s chasing his release.
He’s not sure what emotion is coursing through him. It’s intense, almost overwhelming, but also clear in its bone-deep surety. He is wrapped up safe, but not confined. Grounded, but not anchored. He is loved.
Ed makes a noise. He's so close, hand working his cock, breath sawing in and out.
Stede is rapt, unable to look away. “That’s it, let me see you, my sweet.”
And he lets go, pleasure washing over him like the tide. He pulses over his hand and stomach, heaving for breath. It takes him a few moments to come back to himself, somewhat longer to figure out how to look at Stede.
Whatever he sees on Ed’s face makes him grin before settling into a fond gaze. “Oh, Edward. You look incredible when you come.”
Ed doesn’t protest. He can’t tell if it’s because he has no wits to do so, or if he’s actually had some sort of revelation. Either way he laughs, joy bubbling up in his chest. He gets to have this and more, and it is a wondrous, precious thing.
He can feel his come starting to get tacky, and makes a face. “You’re going to have to clean me up, babe. I don’t think I can move.”
Stede gets up, gives him a kiss on the tip of his nose. “I’ll always take care of you, darling.”
After he’s clean and curled up in Stede’s arms, drifting off to sleep, he knows it’s true.